TAG | Google
1
Warner Bros. Acquires The Pirate Bay
Comments | Posted by Benny Dacks in IT, News, Technology, World News
It seems as if the powers at be have realized they are fighting an uphill battle. After a laborious trial in Sweden, Time Warner has decided that they can’t beat The Pirate Bay, so they’ll join them.
After years of hostility, lawsuits, police raids and heated invective between the two groups, the Pirate Bay has today announced they have settled their differences with US media conglomerate Warner Bros. The largest BitTorrent tracker has sold out to Hollywood and the two have agreed a deal. - TorrentFreak
Honestly, I feel that this was the right move from the start. The Pirate Bay is no more responsible for pirating software than Google. Technology and the Internet have always been about innovation and moving forward. The Pirate Bay took the existing technology of BitTorrent and simply capitalized on it before anyone else thought to. Now that the major industries are taking a page from TPB, you can expect to see a number of changes in the way we view and purchase media online.
What does it all mean?
Well, personally I feel that this will have a major impact on the distribution of online media. If the major powers of distribution and production cannot adopt this new market of media sharing they will fall victim to the next TPB. Warner Bros. should not revamp or close down TPB, instead they should embrace its tech-savvy, intelligent user base and find a way to grow the community as well as make their fair share.
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Earlier this week the FFmpeg project reached version 0.5, which was quite significant considering no new FFmpeg release was made available in years. This release contained a plethora of new encoders and decoders, support for VDPAU, a variety of bug-fixes, and many other improvements. What is next for FFmpeg? When will we see proper Blu-ray support? Will there be a 1.0 release in the foreseeable future? To answer these questions plus others, I spoke with three of the main FFmpeg developers about this very popular — and important — open-source multimedia project.
The three developers that shared their thoughts were Diego Biurrun, Baptiste Coudurier, and Robert Swain. Diego is a developer that originally started working on MPlayer, but now with FFmpeg he is responsible for some of the code’s maintenance, handling some of the legal affairs, and other organizational tasks. In particular, Diego was the one that stepped up to the plate and took over the release manager position for version 0.5. Baptiste discovered FFmpeg three years ago and after realizing it was “the Swiss knife of multimedia on Linux,” he began fixing random bugs, quickly became the maintainer of the QuickTime handling code, and is regarded by the other developers as being the savior of MOV/MP4 support in FFmpeg. Robert originally began his FOSS multimedia development adventures through updating the Xvid and x264 interfaces in MPlayer and then in FFmpeg. Robert remained with the FFmpeg project thereafter, with a particular interest in making it easier to use. Robert is also FFmpeg’s AAC decoder maintainer and previously worked on the project as part of Google’s Summer of Code. [Phoronix]
23
Create your own Google Adsense Network
Comments | Posted by Benny Dacks in IT, Internet, Linux, Open Source, Software, Technology
After being banned from Google Adsense a few times while learning the ropes of SEO (and slipping through a few) I decided I wanted to learn more about 3 things.
- Why was I banned?
- What detected the violation?
- What can I do to get around this?
So I began learning about CPM, CTR and ROI, investigating other PPC programs like Adbrite, and researching the path a popular piece of original content took on its way to “viral” status. I’ve developed a few theories on the subject however these are not what this article is about. This is about starting your own PPC ad network and taking Google out of the equation.
So here are the steps on how to create a mini-Google Adsense with Open Source Software and $100.00 in overhead.
What you’ll need:
- Dedicated Server: 3 months ($89.00) Server Pronto
- Domain Name 1 year (9.99) Godaddy
- OpenX
- Linux, Apache, PHP5, MYSQL (free) Gentoo Linux
Steps
- Buy your server. I wouldn’t recommend buying more than 3 months to begin with unless you can really afford it. Its easy to extend your contract and if you’ve got backups of your site you can ditch your company for a cheaper one anytime you want. The great thing about Linux based hosts is that you have total control over your system, security, and backups. Moving to a new host is as easy as dumping the database and SCP’ing the files. Server Pronto has a great deal for 3 months with a price tag of $89.00. They also support Linux.
- Head over to your favorite domain registrar and grab a catchy name. GoDaddy always has specials for 9-14 dollars for the first year. Try and get something that will appeal to your audience of advertisers. A silly Web 2.0 name like SpanDingle.com is not going to work. I didn’t Google that so SpanDingle.com might be available…but anyways…
- Get OpenX AdServer. This is the real meat and potatoes of the tutorial. OpenX is an ad server that allows you to specify campaign profiles and assign them to your different sales managers and agents. Your stats are fully tracked and emailed to the right person on a weekly basis. You can set your own cost per impression and determine a fair CPM/CPC rate for your advertisers. Pair the stats with a Google Analytics account and you’ll have everything you need to invoice your clients at the end of the month.
- OpenX is designed to run in an LAMP environment. There is no overhead for this open source software. The only overhead is the learning curve, which varies from distribution to distribution. I use Gentoo for all of my servers for its security, tight documentation and active developer base. Linux, if configured correctly, will get you much more life out of your server’s hardware, and cut costs on monthly overhead.
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4
Top 10 Ways to Get on IT’s Good Side.
Comments | Posted by Benny Dacks in Funny, Geek, Rants, Top 10
10. Verify your problem.
Example: If you cant load the company website, check another computer. Better yet, check from your iPhone, Android, or Blackberry. Don’t assume that because the site wont load on your computer, the site is down. This is rarely the case. Admins beat their heads against desks when we’re asked to reboot an entire web server because 1 person forgot they were in “Work Offline” mode.
9. Email first, call last.
I’m 2 hours into the day, eyeballs deep in code, completely immersed in what I’m focusing on and RIIIIIIIING! My concentration is shattered by the technological shortcomings of Dwayne from HR. He needs his password reset. This however is not all he decides to tell me. He then goes on inform me that his sister’s uncle’s friend’s dog’s computer crashed the other night and would like me to tell him why. Two hours of excruciating explanation later, I whip out my magic hat, cape, and DIY Voodoo kit, and inform him that I’ll either need more information, or the blood of a sacrificed virgin goat to diagnose the problem. All he needed was a password reset, which could have been solved in seconds via email.
8. Admit Ignorance.
Nothing pisses off an IT professional more than a user who thinks they’re the hot stinkin’ shit. These are the people who insist they know everything, and will jump at the chance to try and correct you. Some people will challenge everything you say, just to split hairs so they can feel less ignorant. The simple fact is, if you dont work in IT, you probably dont know fuck-all about computers and should approach the situation as such. If you are the boss/owner, this applies especially to you. You hired these people because they are knowledgable about things you are not.
7. Respect the key holders
Without your email, network, workstation or phone, you’d be fucked. If any 1 of the aforementioned technologies goes away, so does your paycheck. IT departments work hard to keep interruptions in employee services to a minimum and if they’re doing their job, you should almost never hear from them. Many times this leads upper management to believe that the IT department is busy playing Quake all day when in actuality they’re maintaining status quo as well as holding the hands of your companies technotards.
6. Dont waste company resources.
I don’t care how hot or bangin the new Lil’ Wayne album is. If I catch you torrenting or using Limewire on my pristine, well-oiled network, I’ll format your HD at least once a week and replace all your mp3’s with goat porn.
5. Do not micro-manage us.
The way I deal with this is actually pretty simple. Everytime someone from ‘upstairs’ asks me that bullshit question “What are you working on?” I immediately start reading off lines of code to them. Then if that doesnt confuse the shit out of them, I’ll hit them with a few random computer terms about something completely unrelated to what I’m actually doing, so when(if) they actually research it, they’ll be even more confused. Misinformation is your ally.
4. Realize ‘freelance’ doesnt mean free.
If I had a nickle for every time I was asked to fix a co-worker’s personal computer, or one of their friends/relatives/spouses issues, I could probably actually afford to work for free. Many of us turned to the corporate world out of disdain for the freelancing domain. Feature creep, late payments, picky clients and generally being underapreciated are all good reasons to want a 9-5 office gig. What the bloody hell makes you think that we want to go back to that three ring circus? With that said, if you’re going to ask for our services outside of the domain of the company, you’d better be prepared to at least match our salary, if not more.
3. Check to see if its plugged in (and turned on!).
Please?
2. Take Screenshots, “I got this error” does not help.
This cracks me up. I’ll get a call or an email stating that someone “Got an error” and coincidently slammed face first into a brick wall. On that wall are painted the words OK and Cancel. Just above that is a cryptic riddle from the tiny gremlins that power your computer. This aparently comes with a nerve-agent that melts a normal user’s brain upon sight. Far be it from the user to actually read the error message, let alone hit the button clearly labled “PRINT SCREEN.”
1. Learn how to use Google.
Dont laugh! You’d be surprised how many people have no idea about the awsome power of Google. Chances are, your IT department spends at least 10% of their day on Google, googling things for your employees when they could be focusing on more important tasks. Learn how to use boolean operators and Google-specific query tricks. Become a seeker of knowledge rather than a reciever.
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I’ve been in the IT industry for over 10 years now, and if theres one thing I’ve learned, its that IGNORANCE IS RAMPANT in today’s typical office setting in regard to general computer use. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Who is this guy, why doesnt he just find another job if he hates it so much?.” Well my name is Ben, but many know me as Dacks. I’m a life-time nerd, and I LOVE computers and technology in general. I consider myself to be quite knowledgable in many areas of IT, and I’m always down for a quick geek-out session with another nerd in close proximity, HOWEVER(!) my patience runs thin whenever someone asks me: “Hey how do I [insert google search query]“. Welcome to office life in the IT department.
10. You must explain everything, regardless of simplicity, at least 10,000 times
Sometimes I wish it were actually possible to replace people with small shell scripts. I’m not an alien. I have 2 legs and 2 arms, 1 head, and I speak English. Somehow in that equation, even the most simple explanation is lost in translation when dealing with a Computard. My favorite part is scanning over the poor soul’s ‘notes’ after I’ve just finished oversimplifying how to attach a word document to an email, only to find an entire Library of Congress worth of text just to cover: 1. Click Attach, 2. Find File, 3. Click OK.
9. At least 3 times a week, someone will say “I can’t print”.
Nick Burns Anyone? This is one of those comments that drives me bat-shit insane. Printers, possibly the most low-tech device in the whole office, somehow manage to foil your 36 kill streak in Quake just about every hour, on the hour. How is it, that a device with a average of 3 buttons, 1 blinking light, and PAPER can be so confusing to the common user? Forget trying to explain what a driver is…
8. You get the same emails, 500 times.
Here’s the scenario. You’ve actually done your job! The website’s traffic is through the roof thanks to you brilliant S.E.O. tactics and semantic code. The problem? “OMG THE SITE IS SLOW” echoes out from the nether regions of your cubicle circus. The first wave of emails from the marketing department come raining in. As soon as you’re done hitting DELETE on the bunch, a second department feels its nessicary to alert you with an individual email from each employee, all stating their own nifty hypothesis as to why the site is so slow. After about 9 waves, you start recieving the “Did you get my email” email, followed up by the “Did you get my email about my email” phone call. Mass murder ensues shortly after.
7. You’re the first to show up, and the last to leave.
God forbid anyone decides to learn how to turn their own machine on or off. Having a ’schedule’ might seem like a good way to decide when to arrive and depart, however your time as an IT administrator does not enter the mind of the co-worker who’s late for Greys Anatomy re-runs. People will leave you the most ridiculous list of tasks to rush through, usually in the last 10 seconds of the work day. You can expect to be bumped up 1 notch on my hitlist for this infraction.
6. Nobody ever saves you any coffee.
Leave it to the advertising team to lick the pot clean, occasionally saving you the smallest, coffee-ground soup-ish, coldest drop of sludge. I broke down and bought a coffee pot which sits right next to me, guarded by a pair of rabid doberman pinchers with sniper rifles.
5. The dreaded “What are you working on?”
Nothing pisses me off more than some idiot poking their head into my office and blurting out “Hey, What are you working on?” I usually approach this question with a deep breathe, followed by a brief moral struggle over whether or not to turn this moron’s brain into an even more viscous mush. Answering this question honestly will often result in your coworker’s head exploding. There is a reason why I am paid to understand these things, and you are not. If you truly don’t care to understand, then by all means, have a nice helping of shut the fuck up and let me do my job.
4. For every hour you spend trying to make things easier, you’ll create 10 more hours of explanation
Forget trying to make these fools’ lives easier. It will only result in further frustration. Let them slink into their anti productive work flows. The more company time they piss away doing things ‘how they’ve done them for 10 years’, the less time they have to bother you. Something as small as moving an icon can have terrible butterfly-effect results. Expect questions like:
“DROOOOOOOOOL…….DERRRRRR……FGGGGGGGGGHHHHNNNNN….UMMMM….WHERE IS MY WINDOWS?”
3. Updates from outer space!
Somewhere along the line, a developer had a brilliant idea that would in fact forever degrade the patience of future developers and administrators: Updates. First of all, don’t get me wrong, updates are great (if you can wrap your head around this astronomical concept). My major gripe here is the fact that a perfectly well written dialogue box, in plain English, will undoubtedly read “PLEASE CALL SOMEONE INTO YOUR OFFICE, FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BUILDING, TO CLICK ‘OK’ ” to the average grunt. The update might as well read “I am an idiot, Click Yes, Ok, or Uh-Huh”.
2. Do you think you can _____ ?
Unless your name is Boss, or Manager, I never want to hear this come out of your mouth. Ever. This phrase, as innocent as it seems, is a portal to another dimension where every second of your personal life is sucked dry by the things that will “only take a second.” Accept no side jobs from co-workers. You WILL be underpaid and overworked due to your ‘working’ relationship, with no possibility of actually getting what you’re worth. Unless they’re willing to pay you double what you’re making at the gig, walk away. I don’t “think I can” do anything, I know what I can do, and I know how much its going to cost you, and you probably can’t afford it.
1. You are everyone’s personal Google-er.
My mind was blown away the other day by my friend James, who sent me what I feel is the best invention since Google. It’s called LetMeGoogleThatForYou. Basically, its the most passive aggressive way to let someone know that what they just asked you, when typed into Google, will probaly give you a better explination than I can ever give. To some, this may come off as an insult, but others will be wisked away to the magical land of AJAX where an invisible pink elephant will dance into their office and type their question into Google for them. It even hits the search button for you. A dyslexic retard with 1 hand and a lazy eye can usually take it from here. Either way, they’re out of my hair.
Do you have any ridiculous office-related stories you’d like to share with us? Till then, try and keep the high powered weapons out of plain site. They might catch on to your plan…
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- Image via CrunchBase
I’m very impressed with the G1. I’ve owned it for about 2 weeks and I cant believe I was without a phone of this caliber for so long. With that said, I’ve got a few ideas for version 2. Here are the Top 10 Missing Features in the Android G1.
10. Video Capture
This is a given. I’ve read about the Cupcake Project, but I’m not about to mangle my new phone’s OS just to try a beta SVN build of hacks. A glaring WTF.
9. A beer drinking program.
I cant imagine this would be that hard to port, or re-create with an actual particle engine. Im sure someone over at Blender is working on this.
Seriously google. What the fuck… It’s even on the iGotPwnedBySteveJobs.
7. No Multi-Touch.
I have to say this is very surprising, with all the surface control hype today you’d think this would be a standard component to any touch screen technology. I hear ATM’s even have this now.
6. Youtube only?
What about break.com, nothingtoxic.com, and metacafe.com???????( Yes i know this is flash dependent )
5. Internal Memory is insufficient.
I’ve got about 50 apps installed, all of which are around 1 mb or less and Im running out of room. I really hope they extend NTFS to the external storage. Then I can actually USE that fancy card I robbed off that midget at the mall.
4. Battery life sucks.
With everything turned on, it only gets about 8 hours. I went back to the store and complained, netting me 3 free batteries. Score.
3. Slow Processor.
We need more juice! The multitasking features are great, but it boggs down after 2 or 3 apps. Why can’t they slap an i7 in there.
2. Support for multiple Gmail accounts.
Teh fail.
1. Video Chat.
Ok. mabey its a pipe-dream. How cool would it be to Skype video-chat from your phone…or Camfrog even.
Bleh. I need to take a shit.

- Image via CrunchBase
Let me start by saying that I’m very impressed with the G1. I’ve owned it for about 2 weeks and I cant believe I was without a phone of this caliber for so long. With that said, I’ve got a few ideas for version 2. Here are the Top 10 Missing Features in the Android G1.
10. Video Capture
This is a given. I’ve read about the Cupcake Project, but I’m not about to mangle my new phone’s OS just to try a beta SVN build of hacks. A glaring WTF.
9. A beer drinking program.
I cant imagine this would be that hard to port, or re-create with an actual particle engine. Im sure someone over at Blender is working on this.
Seriously google. What the fuck… It’s even on the iGotPwnedBySteveJobs.
7. No Multi-Touch.
I have to say this is very surprising, with all the surface control hype today you’d think this would be a standard component to any touch screen technology. I hear ATM’s even have this now.
6. Youtube only?
What about break.com, nothingtoxic.com, and metacafe.com???????
5. Internal Memory is insufficient.
I’ve got about 50 apps installed, all of which are around 1 mb or less and Im running out of room. I really hope they extend NTFS to the external storage. Then I can actually USE that fancy card I robbed off that midget at the mall.
4. Battery life sucks.
With everything turned on, it only gets about 8 hours. I went back to the store and complained, netting me 3 free batteries. Score.
3. Slow Processor.
We need more juice! The multitasking features are great, but it boggs down after 2 or 3 apps. Why can’t they slap an i7 in there.
2. Support for multiple Gmail accounts.
Teh fail.
1. Video Chat.
Ok. mabey its a pipe-dream. How cool would it be to Skype video-chat from your phone…or Camfrog even.
Bleh. I need to take a shit.
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22
Top 5 Google Android Apps
Comments | Posted by Benny Dacks in Geek, Hacking, Hardware, Linux, Open Source, Software, Technology

- Image via CrunchBase
Here is a list of what I think are the Top 5 Google Android Apps.
5. Power Manager v.1.4.2
This app gives you different device presets for different battery conditions. If you’re not browsing the web, or synching via bluetooth, then there’s no reason to leave those components activated. This app even has a setting for “Browser Mode” where you’re wireless connections are disabled until you flip out the keyboard. I usually keep the phone on “Low Battery Mode” to conserve, and switch to “AC Power” when I need the extra juice.
4. Compare Everywhere
For the frugal-Googler, we have Compare Everywhere, a bar-code scanner that automatically tells you if you’re getting the best deal. Just scan any item and within seconds you get the lowest prices and map locations of how to get there. Always get the lowest price! A must have for any shopper this season.
3. PixelPipe
This one is for the social network gurus and media sharing junkies. Sync your pictures from your G1 to your Facebook, Flickr, Picassa, Blogger, Photobucket, Wordpress (and many more, see Full List) all with 1 touch of a button. Add your accounts into PixelPipe and upload tagged, named pictures straight to your webspace. Pair this with a RSS plugin on your blog and you’re Life-Photo-Blogging in no time.
2. Zombie Run
A simple GPS based game that involves physically running away from the ravenous pack of brain-eaters. Add your zombie horde, set the speed of the zombies, and RUN LIKE HELL. Get to the green icons (the survivors) and avoid the red icons, the zombies. Simple, fun, worth a download. This would be fun in a highly public place.
1. cab4me light
Drunk? Lost? Need a cab? Say no more. A few drunken taps on the screen and a cab will be sent to your location with minimal effort. Great idea guys. Keep it up
There ya have it. My Top 5 Androids Apps of the moment.
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22
Flash on Android G1
Comments | Posted by Benny Dacks in Geek, Hacking, Hardware, Linux, Open Source, Technology

- Image via CrunchBase
I picked up a T-Mobile Android G1 the other day. I must say, this is the coolest device I’ve ever owned. My one complaint so far is. WHERE IS THE FLASH SUPPORT! Come on Adobe… I’ve seen this done before (see below), and I’ve got a decent background in Linux (compiling software, package management, ect..), so why can’t it be done? Is there an .apk file floating around somewhere?
I’d like to see an ‘alternate’ market app for non-free ports, grey-area apps, and other things that Google might not want to be tied to legally.
Anyone who can shed any light on this, please comment below. For now, just drool over this video.
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I’ve been in the IT industry for over 10 years now, and if theres one thing I’ve learned, its that IGNORANCE IS RAMPANT in today’s typical office setting in regard to general computer use. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Who is this guy, why doesnt he just find another job if he hates it so much?.” Well my name is Ben, but many know me as Dacks. I’m a life-time nerd, and I LOVE computers and technology in general. I consider myself to be quite knowledgable in many areas of IT, and I’m always down for a quick geek-out session with another nerd in close proximity, HOWEVER(!) my patience runs thin whenever someone asks me: “Hey how do I [insert google search query]“. Welcome to office life in the IT department.
10. You must explain everything, regardless of simplicity, at least 10,000 times
Sometimes I wish it were actually possible to replace people with small shell scripts. I’m not an alien. I have 2 legs and 2 arms, 1 head, and I speak English. Somehow in that equation, even the most simple explanation is lost in translation when dealing with a Computard. My favorite part is scanning over the poor soul’s ‘notes’ after I’ve just finished oversimplifying how to attach a word document to an email, only to find an entire Library of Congress worth of text just to cover: 1. Click Attach, 2. Find File, 3. Click OK.
9. At least 3 times a week, someone will say “I can’t print”.
Nick Burns Anyone? This is one of those comments that drives me bat-shit insane. Printers, possibly the most low-tech device in the whole office, somehow manage to foil your 36 kill streak in Quake just about every hour, on the hour. How is it, that a device with a average of 3 buttons, 1 blinking light, and PAPER can be so confusing to the common user? Forget trying to explain what a driver is…
8. You get the same emails, 500 times.
Here’s the scenario. You’ve actually done your job! The website’s traffic is through the roof thanks to you brilliant S.E.O. tactics and semantic code. The problem? “OMG THE SITE IS SLOW” echoes out from the nether regions of your cubicle circus. The first wave of emails from the marketing department come raining in. As soon as you’re done hitting DELETE on the bunch, a second department feels its nessicary to alert you with an individual email from each employee, all stating their own nifty hypothesis as to why the site is so slow. After about 9 waves, you start recieving the “Did you get my email” email, followed up by the “Did you get my email about my email” phone call. Mass murder ensues shortly after.
7. You’re the first to show up, and the last to leave.
God forbid anyone decides to learn how to turn their own machine on or off. Having a ’schedule’ might seem like a good way to decide when to arrive and depart, however your time as an IT administrator does not enter the mind of the co-worker who’s late for Greys Anatomy re-runs. People will leave you the most ridiculous list of tasks to rush through, usually in the last 10 seconds of the work day. You can expect to be bumped up 1 notch on my hitlist for this infraction.
6. Nobody ever saves you any coffee.
Leave it to the advertising team to lick the pot clean, occasionally saving you the smallest, coffee-ground soup-ish, coldest drop of sludge. I broke down and bought a coffee pot which sits right next to me, guarded by a pair of rabid doberman pinchers with sniper rifles.
5. The dreaded “What are you working on?”
Nothing pisses me off more than some idiot poking their head into my office and blurting out “Hey, What are you working on?” I usually approach this question with a deep breathe, followed by a brief moral struggle over whether or not to turn this moron’s brain into an even more viscous mush. Answering this question honestly will often result in your coworker’s head exploding. There is a reason why I am paid to understand these things, and you are not. If you truly don’t care to understand, then by all means, have a nice helping of shut the fuck up and let me do my job.
4. For every hour you spend trying to make things easier, you’ll create 10 more hours of explanation
Forget trying to make these fools’ lives easier. It will only result in further frustration. Let them slink into their anti productive work flows. The more company time they piss away doing things ‘how they’ve done them for 10 years’, the less time they have to bother you. Something as small as moving an icon can have terrible butterfly-effect results. Expect questions like:
“DROOOOOOOOOL…….DERRRRRR……FGGGGGGGGGHHHHNNNNN….UMMMM….WHERE IS MY WINDOWS?”
3. Updates from outer space!
Somewhere along the line, a developer had a brilliant idea that would in fact forever degrade the patience of future developers and administrators: Updates. First of all, don’t get me wrong, updates are great (if you can wrap your head around this astronomical concept). My major gripe here is the fact that a perfectly well written dialogue box, in plain English, will undoubtedly read “PLEASE CALL SOMEONE INTO YOUR OFFICE, FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BUILDING, TO CLICK ‘OK’ ” to the average grunt. The update might as well read “I am an idiot, Click Yes, Ok, or Uh-Huh”.
2. Do you think you can _____ ?
Unless your name is Boss, or Manager, I never want to hear this come out of your mouth. Ever. This phrase, as innocent as it seems, is a portal to another dimension where every second of your personal life is sucked dry by the things that will “only take a second.” Accept no side jobs from co-workers. You WILL be underpaid and overworked due to your ‘working’ relationship, with no possibility of actually getting what you’re worth. Unless they’re willing to pay you double what you’re making at the gig, walk away. I don’t “think I can” do anything, I know what I can do, and I know how much its going to cost you, and you probably can’t afford it.
1. You are everyone’s personal Google-er.
My mind was blown away the other day by my friend James, who sent me what I feel is the best invention since Google. It’s called LetMeGoogleThatForYou. Basically, its the most passive aggressive way to let someone know that what they just asked you, when typed into Google, will probaly give you a better explination than I can ever give. To some, this may come off as an insult, but others will be wisked away to the magical land of AJAX where an invisible pink elephant will dance into their office and type their question into Google for them. It even hits the search button for you. A dyslexic retard with 1 hand and a lazy eye can usually take it from here. Either way, they’re out of my hair.
Do you have any ridiculous office-related stories you’d like to share with us? Till then, try and keep the high powered weapons out of plain site. They might catch on to your plan…
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